1. If you think you have cleaned up every little thing I could possibly put in my mouth, you're wrong. I'll find something to put in my mouth. Then I'll make a gagging sound that spikes your adrenaline. Then I'll gag and throw up a bit when you try to fish it out of my mouth. Have fun cleaning that up.
2. If I hear water, it's for me. Shower, glass of water, water bottle, running sink, flushing toilet - They're all mine. Thank you for your understanding.
3. A clean room is an invitation for me to get all of my toys out. Thanks for the area to explore my creativity.
4. An open door is an invitation to see what is on the other side. The pantry door is of particular interest, because I've discovered there are tons of things I can pull down off the shelves. It's fun. I think we should change the name to "Jayvan's playroom."
5. I will not stay on my back while you change my diaper. You need to get better at hitting a moving target. Also, you really shouldn't trust me without a diaper on. Even if you leave me on the tile and "run really quick" to go get a diaper, I will crawl into your carpeted closet and pee. Just be thankful that it wasn't poop.
6. If there is a cord attached to anything, I will find it. I will also put it in my mouth, and I don't understand this "potential electrical shock" you speak of. Cords = good stuff in my book. I will crawl under furniture to get to them. I'm sure that is some kind of developmental milestone you should record.
7. Your attempts to put stuff in the middle of the coffee table are really cute. I can reach that now. I'm sure you're aware.
8. You need to figure out some anti-gravity thing with my bottles. I would like to be able to crawl and drink my bottle at the same time. Work on it.
9. I don't care what you say, toilets, bathroom trashcans, and toilet brushes ((((shudder)))) are awesome. I cannot understand why you keep closing the bathroom doors. You know that just means that the one time someone accidentally leaves the door open, I will make my way into this awesome room and have my way with these treasured items. Plus, I get the bonus of an extra bath or shower after these incidents and you know how I love that water! Win, win!
10 When I crawl toward you saying "Mama!" I'm pretty sure that the sappy smiling face you make means that all of the nine previous lessons are all worth it. You're welcome.